Author: tyler

Pic: Hoodoo? Yeah, you do, you do. Dixie NF, UT

I made an impromptu stop off UT-12 at the Red Canyon Visitor Center in Dixie National Forest. I mostly wanted information about dispersed camping in the area since it is a short drive from Bryce Canyon NP (the ranger suggested an area called Cabin Hollow). I also inquired about a snake discovered in the Moqui Cave parking lot by a woman who seemed surprised that I would run toward a snake to get a better look (the ranger and a field guide agreed that it was a gopher snake).

While I was stopped, I noticed some interesting formations in the nearby hills so I made a sandwich and hiked up Pink Ledges Trail and Hoodoo Trail. In most parts of the world, I’d be content to spend a couple days exploring these features. In southern Utah, this is a quick pit stop between world-famous marvels of geology.

Pic: The Duke by Garth Chamberlain, “self-taught” wood carver. Moqui Cave, Kanab, UT

On the way up US-89 from Kanab toward Bryce Canyon NP, there is a tourist trap called the Moqui Cave. It turned out to be the best $5 I spent during the entire trip. It’s hard to explain why, except to say that it was hands down the best collection of folk art + fossils + Pittsburgh Steelers memorabilia + archaeological treasures + fluorescent minerals + blacklight paintings I have ever seen.

Pic: Fluorescent minerals and also a velvet painting of a horse. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Moqui Cave, Kanab, UT

The young woman who sold me a ticket was also the docent. She explained that original owner Garth Chamberlain, whose family still owns and operates things, purchased the land in 1951 specifically to operate as a roadside attraction. Garth’s career — he played football for the Steelers — and numerous hobbies are reflected in the collection. “For example, he was a self-taught woodcarver,” she said and lead me to The Duke.

“Wow,” I said. Please scroll back up and appreciate it again.

“And he had no formal training?”

“None,” she confirmed.

I’m not here to hate on another person’s hobby. He produced a recognizable carving of John Wayne, something I couldn’t accomplish even with years of tutelage from the world’s greatest wood artists. But you don’t need to tell me that he was self-taught. That is the least necessary disclaimer I’ve heard in at least a week.

Pic: I am nearly certain that this is George Washington. Wood carving by Grant Chamberlain. Moqui Cave, Kanab, UT

Seriously though, if you have a free hour while traveling between southern Utah’s natural wonders, pull over and spend an hour with Garth’s collection of random objets d’art.

Pic: Desert bighorn ewes with a lamb. Zion NP, UT

I think East Zion was my favorite part of the park (other than Angels Landing, but that’s not really fair). Similar architecture and views as the main canyon, 5% of the population, and space to actually get off a ten foot wide paved trail and explore. I wandered up and down the slickrock canyons of Many Pools for hours, marvelling at the bizarre layers of sedimentary rock and startling the frogs and polliwogs hanging out in the puddles where rainwater remained.

After years of hiking through their poop and tracks, I finally saw desert bighorn sheep — two ewes with a lamb. I tried to inch closer for a better photo but, in spite of my stealth and abundant grace, as soon as I stepped into the open they’d had enough of my shenanigans and bolted.

Pic: Zion-Mt. Carmel Highway. Canyon Overlook, Zion NP, UT

With Angels Landing summited, there was little left to do but exit to the east en route to other glorious Utah parks. On the way, I accidentally encountered another brilliant achievement in civil engineering, the Zion-Mt. Carmel Highway and Tunnel. Using Roaring Twenties technology, two federal and one state government organization collaborated with four private road crews to build a 25-mile road over slickrock, up sandstone cliffs, and 1.1 miles through the side of a mountain in two years and ten months. They even built windows:

Pic: The dark feature just below center is a two car-length by two person-height window into a 1.1 mile tunnel through the side of a 6200′ mountain. Zion NP, UT

Theoretically the tunnel is large enough to allow two-way traffic, but in practice the number of RVs touring this part of the country in mid-May means that the tunnel sees a lot of alternating one-way traffic. Rangers are therefore employed as flaggers, and the one on the east side looked bored so I asked her about accomodations in Mt. Carmel Junction vs Kanab. She confirmed my suspicions: “For one thing, Kanab has a grocery store,” she explained.

She also confirmed that Kanab rhymes with Donovan MCNABB, the town of Hurricane is pronounced HURRIC’N, and Zion rhymes with LION — not ION — and is definitely not plural or possessive (apparently “ZI-ahnz”, as if the park belongs to a guy named Zion, is a common mangling).

Pic: Zion Canyon from Angels Landing, Zion NP, UT

The problem with Utah is that pictures — especially my crappy iphone pictures — don’t do it justice. I’ve been lucky enough to visit some incredible places, but I think the top of Huayna Picchu overlooking an abandoned Incan city in the Andes is the only thing I’ve experienced that compares to being on the tip of Angels Landing. (Yes, I scrambled out past the cairns, all the way to the edge.)

After my early start and consequent early finish, I rounded out the day at the Springdale Public Library. I relaxed in a comfortable chair and watched a thunderstorm blow through the valley while backing up my laptop, catching up on email, and flipping through a book illustrating the birds of Zion. #ThanksBenFranklin

Pic: Tell me what you think about your situation. Angels Landing, Zion NP, UT

Everything went single-threaded for the last half-mile. Queues began to form before narrow, steep, and tricky sections:

Pic: Oh, good morning, Mr. Tyler. Going… _down_? Angels Landing, Zion NP, UT

I was glad for my early start, especially as I descended through droves of hikers headed up for lunch.

Most people were pretty good about letting faster folks (like me!) pass. But on a section like this with room for only one hiker at a time, there’s always a guy who comes right up to the bottom of the narrow staircase while I’m in the middle of it. I continue to descend — because what else am I gonna do? — until I’m standing right in front of him and he always looks surprised. Like, my gosh, how could I have possibly anticipated that we would be in each other’s way here? I thought maybe you would vanish, or fly off the mountain like a bird before we literally bumped into one another at this constriction.

My enthusiasm for Angels Landing in spite of all the traffic underscores what an incredible hike it is.

Pic: Don’t stop movin’ baby. Walter’s Wiggles, Zion NP, UT

No trip to Zion is complete without tackling the 4.8 mile, 1500′ round trip to the top of Angels Landing. All my friends who had visited the park told me about it. I overheard people talking about it on the shuttle and at restaurants in Springdale. It is so popular yet so can’t-miss that I did something uncharacteristic to prepare for it: I set an alarm.

I passed a couple in their thirties at the start of the Wiggles. “Look, honey, it’s John Muir!” Their kids had just finished a national parks project in school and… allegedly I looked like John Muir.

As a Californian who enjoys the outdoors, I was familiar with his general badassery, but I don’t think I’d ever seen a picture. (Now that I have: other than the beard, I’m not really seeing it.) Regardless, I posed for a photo with my new friends employing what I hoped was a wistful, John Muir-esque look.

I didn’t come on this hike for the civil engineering, but I must give a shout-out to Walter’s Wiggles for being both functional and attractive without distracting from the surrounding beauty. Turns out Walter Ruesch, who designed and lead construction on the project in 1925, was a bit of a badass himself:

The trail was built primarily by hand. Workers earned $3.50 a day to hang precariously off cliff faces and pry at sandstone with jackhammers. Horses and mules rounded out the construction crew, hauling materials endlessly up and down the trail.

Ruesch’s desire to see a trail up Angels Landing came with one caveat. He said, “Zion is God’s country; don’t make it look like hell.” As a result, the trail was build from native material and blended into the cliff.

—Angels Landing eHike[1]

[1] “eHike”? lol NPS. Oh, also it’s Flash-only. Sorry; it was the best source I could find.

After the Wiggles I arrived at Scout’s Lookout, where the real fun begins. As the park service explains:

Pic: Remain seated please. Permanacer sentados por favor. Scout’s Lookout, Zion NP, UT

Pic: Waiting five minutes. Kayenta Trail above Virgin River, Zion NP, UT

In Seattle, they have a saying: ‘If you don’t like the weather, wait five minutes and then shoot yourself in the face.’ –Doug Benson

On the way up to the Emerald Pools, the intermittent drizzle that had characterized the morning became a full-on thundershower. I found a hidey-hole between a rock and a cottonwood and ate Goldfish for twenty minutes until it passed.

Pic: Hey, that’s the name of the blog! Emerald Pools Trail, Zion NP, UT

Pic: Five bars of LTE. Cell tower and Mt. Kinesava, Rockville, UT

My server at dinner last night, Rich, was well-versed in dispersed camping on the south side. He suggested a road — washed out in only a couple places — that led to a high bluff above the valley. The camping spots were small and awkward but the place was deserted and provided me all the mobile bandwidth I could eat.

Today’s plan was to knock out some of the short/famous/popular hikes in the main canyon: Riverside Walk, Weeping Rock, Emerald Pools. I was initially skeptical of Zion’s mandatory-during-the-busy-season shuttle system but it actually worked really well. Look at all the cars it kept out of the park:

Pic: Is this the line for Space Mountain? Shuttle stop at South Entrance, Zion NP, UT

Pic: Beatty Point, Nagunt Mesa, and Timber Top Mountain. Kolob Canyons, Zion NP, UT. (Much) larger image

I wrapped up the afternoon on quick-and-easy Timber Creek Overlook Trail to, as Joe’s Guide puts it, watch “the Finger Canyons get the last direct sunlight of the day.” On the way up, I passed a mom who gathered her brood of young children to let me pass (thanks!). A little boy, maybe four, walked ahead of the group. “What’s up, little man?” I said as I passed.

The kid didn’t even look at me, but ran back to his mom yelling excitedly: “He talked to me!”

As the shadows lengthened in the canyon, I drove back to I-15 then around to Springdale for dinner at Wild Willie’s. I wanted the french dip or pulled pork but they stopped serving “sandwiches” at 1800 (wtf), so I had a $13 bacon cheeseburger instead. I devoured every scrap plus every french fry plus the pickle.