Month: July 2017

Pic: First: Flat Earthers. Then: 9/11 Truthers. Now: Downtown Billings Deniers. Billings, MT

Crises from yesterday averted, I had some time to explore the area. I added Montana to the list of states in which I’ve played poker and visited the Yellowstone Art Museum. I sort of expected it to be the ((Yellowstone art)) museum, but it was just the Yellowstone ((art museum)). Still, it had been a while since I looked at a random collection of modern art and YAM had some cool pieces.

Pic: Colstrip: Sweetheart of the Rodeo by Walter Piehl. Yellowstone Art Museum, Billings, MT

Pic: Surprisingly thoughtful for motel art. Best Western Clocktower Inn, Billings, MT

As I neared Cody and entered the range of mobile internet unswamped by millions of tourists uploading blurry photos to InstaTwitBook[1], my phone blew up with emails, texts, and voicemails from my credit card company. I called them back and confirmed that I did not try to buy over $100 of goods and services from a gas station in Oakland whilst backpacking in Wyoming. They closed the account and promised to expedite a new card to me, which would be a bit of a trick since I was a thousand miles from my mailing address and planned to be in the woods for at least four of the next seven days.

While I pondered my next move, I discovered that my cigarette-lighter-to-usb adapter had failed — no more charging my phone while on the go.

Finally, the first thing I did upon settling into my room was drop my laptop and break the touchpad.

The good news about these routine annoyances of modern life was that they hit at a lucky time — while I was in Billings, a bustling metropolis of more than 100,000 people and a Best Buy.

Best Buy sold me a $9 USB mouse and a new cigarette lighter adapter, but neither they nor Office Depot nor Home Depot carried screwdrivers for the annoyingly tiny and non-standard screws Apple used to keep my laptop together. The nearest Apple Store was in Salt Lake City, so I went to a place called Simply Mac, an Apple Premier Partner, where I learned the following:

• Apple doesn’t allow anyone but Properly Anointed Technicians to use their magic screwdrivers
• The only Properly Anointed Technician in this store was out until Tuesday
• When the Properly Anointed Technician was available, he would charge me $70 just to open the case

I said thanks but, simply, no thanks. This store ended up closing in January 2017, by the way.

Fortunately, the fine folks of Best Western Clocktower Inn Billings were happy to receive a package for me; they would even hold it while I was off in the Beartooths. I added a tiny screwdriver set and a refurbished trackpad to the credit card already being sent to my mom. She would collect everything and send it to the hotel, where it would be waiting for me upon my return to town.

 

[1] Present company excluded only because I stopped trying to upload photos after I was unable to do so while literally standing next to the cell tower on top of Mt. Washburn (five bars, no data).

Pic: Old Faithful and audience. Yellowstone NP, WY. Larger image

On the way out, I caught one more performance from Old Faithful. Still cool but I was content to watch this one from the back, further from the crowds.

Though I’d managed to see everything on my Yellowstone todo list, I was forced to stop for one last photo op on my way to a few hotel nights in Billings:

Pic: Isa at Isa Lake. Yellowstone NP, WY

Pic: Check my shirt. Old Faithful, Upper Geyser Basin, Yellowstone NP, WY

A million years ago, my mom bought me a t-shirt bearing a witty double entendre: “Old Faithful BLOWS 16 times daily”. Today, that shirt fulfilled its destiny.

“Did anyone ask you about it?” my mom inquired when I sent her this picture. Even though I wore it all day, all around Old Faithful, the only person who commented was the woman I asked to take this photo. This is what she said: “Hey, you’ve got an Old Faithful shirt!”

As I sat and waited for the obligatory Old Faithful viewing (which, to be fair, was definitely impressive and worth the stop), I noticed that a lot of folks had brought their 2-8 year old children to see the geyser. Even in a world without pocket-sized supercomputers and on-demand high-definition media, this seemed like a hard sell: let’s sit here quietly and stare at a plume of steam for five or ten or twenty-five minutes until a kinda cool thing happens for three minutes and then it’s just over. No thanks, mom.

Pic: Morning Glory Pool. Upper Geyser Basin, Yellowstone NP, WY

Pic: Daisy Geyser. Upper Geyser Basin, Yellowstone NP, WY

The govenment organizations responsible for our public lands aren’t always the most tech-savvy. The National Park Service makes a valiant effort, however, to communicate estimated geyser eruption times. In addition to whiteboards in ranger stations and near popular geysers, a telephone number with a recorded message, and links to geysertimes.org, the park service also provides information via that quintessentialy 2010s mechanism: a smartphone app.

Through a combination of these methods, I learned that Daisy Geyser was scheduled to erupt while I was nearby. A twenty minute wait yielded a fine geyser performance in a more intimate setting than I expected with Daisy’s more famous cousin down the road.

Pic: Sapphire Pool. Biscuit Basin, Yellowstone NP, WY

The beauty of sleeping at Mallard Lake was that an 11 mile loop would allow me to explore Biscuit Basin, Midway Geyser Basin, and Upper Geyser Basin at my leisure before returning to the lake for night two. Instead of worrying about parking spots and traffic, I could focus on hiding from thunderstorms and getting back to the tent in time to make ramen before dark.

But seriously folks, this three-mile-long section of the park boasts so many geological peculiarities that the best way to appreciate it is on foot. Having somewhere nearby to sleep was just icing on the geothermal cake.