Pic: My mom is incapable of mailing me anything without including candy. Thanks Mom! Best Western Clocktower Inn, Billings, MT
“Hello, I have a reservation and I believe you have a package for me.”
My room was on the quiet back corner of the hotel, and the package would address the two remaining minor and fortunately-timed catastrophes from last week. The hand-addressed box contained a replacement credit card; a set of screwdrivers with tiny, funny-shaped heads; a third-party Magic Trackpad; and a bar of Ghiradelli chocolate (because Mom).
I’ve worked with computers for my entire life, so I casually prepared a workspace — tools arranged on a well-lit desk, a towel laid down to corral screws and prevent damaging delicate parts — and started unscrewing. I knew that the hardware was packed tight in modern laptops, but maybe I could wiggle the trackpad back into place without taking too much stuff apart.
…yeah, I was gonna need some help. Using my phone I found this 54(!) step guide to removing the battery, a prerequisite for replacing the trackpad. Then, I gave up and went to Dairy Queen.
One year later I am still operating my laptop, one of the most advanced portable computers in the history of the universe, with a $9 USB mouse while the replacement trackpad sits in a closet.
***
On Tuesdays, the nearby three-table poker room happened to run an Omaha/8 game (you get *four* cards!). I was card dead for a couple hours, got bored, and quit down 13 BB. While I cashed out I overheard this exchange between Ace, a friendly dealer old enough to work for the casino but too young to drink there, and a guy holding a pizza.
Guy Holding a Pizza: Did you download the hot new app yet?
Ace: What’s that?
GHaP: Pokémon GO!
Me: [under my breath] Jesus Christ.
Fifteen minutes later, on the way back to my room, I caught a full-grown adult acting strangely in the parking lot.
Me: Are you… playing Pokémon?
FGAASitPL: [sheepishly] Yeah.
Me: Hehe. Good luck!
Me: [under my breath] Jesus Christ.
Danger Beyond This Point 