Day: May 23, 2017

Pic: Oh my god! It’s a Double Arch, all the way! Arches NP, UT

America’s national parks are all undoubtedly great in their own ways. Everyone needs a least favorite park, however, and mine is Arches.

tl;dr: “Did you go to Delicate Arch? No? Then you wasted your time.” –Nat

Let’s start with the positives: the rock formations were unimpeachably stunning. Look at those massive sandstone arches! It’s remarkable what weather and chemistry can accomplish.

Since these features stand alone on an otherwise featureless high desert plateau, the road goes right up to them! Otherworldly vistas, no pesky walking.

The bad news: since these features stand alone on an otherwise featureless high desert plateau, the road goes right up to them! Hence, people everywhere. And that’s fine. I don’t begrudge anyone their right to enjoy our national parks; they belong to all of us, and all of us benefit when people engage with nature. My usual solution to crowds is to simply walk more than a mile from the road, where 99% of visitors will never go. But at Arches, there’s not really anywhere else to go. Distances are long, water and shelter are scarce, and the road goes to most of the cool destinations anyway.

My negative impression was certainly amplified by factors that were entirely my own fault — primarily, being “in a hurry” and trying to cram my visit into a day that also featured five hours of interstate driving and a whirlwind tour of an entirely separate park. That didn’t help, but even under better circumstances I think Arches would remain at the bottom of my list.

In conclusion: fuck Arches.

Pic: No one in between. White Rim from Grand View Point, Canyonlands NP, UT

While the views from the “Islands in the Sky” were incredible, it looked like the best way to enjoy Canyonlands would be via multi-day 4×4 excursion on the White Rim Road, up close and personal with the striking features on the canyon floor. Next time!

Pic: Mesa Arch and Buck Canyon, Canyonlands NP, UT

I showed up at Canyonlands so early that the visitor center was closed. I hadn’t done any research on this park — I wasn’t even supposed to be here today! — but having driven so close to the entrance in search of a campsite, I felt compelled to take at least a quick look around. I hastily cobbled together an itinerary of short scenic viewpoint hikes totaling about six miles: Mesa Arch, Upheaval Dome, and Grand View Point.

I arrived at the first trailhead parking lot, poured a bowl of Corn Pops, and carried it up the hill to Mesa Arch where the Utah Chuckle struck again.

Pic: Oil derrick near Canyonlands NP, UT

I arrived in the Canyonlands/Arches area after dark and promptly struck out at the developed campgrounds in the area (I thought maaaaybe since it was Sunday night… nope). Camping here was quite restricted due to the sensitive high-desert enviornment and the hordes of visitors, but I had a few weak leads. From UT-313, I took a dirt road to another dirt road to a wide, flat clearing. “Good enough!” I declared.

As I zipped into my sleeping bag shortly after midnight, I noticed the dull hum of an engine running nearby. “Is that asshole RVer gonna run his generator all night?” I wondered before passing out.

I woke just after sunrise and promptly packed up. A review of the map in the clear-headed light of morning revealed that I was probably not supposed to camp here. I do not endorse trespassing or illegal camping; in general, I believe in gathering sufficient information to understand and abide by the law. That said:

1. Leave No Trace.

2. It’s only illegal if you get caught. ; )

I couldn’t resist exploring a little before returning to the highway. Maybe I’d find the noisy RV and a better campsite for next time.

I did find the source of the noise, but it wasn’t a generator. It was an oil derrick — I’d basically spent the night in an oil field. I suspected this activity was… discouraged, so I stayed long enough to snap a few selfies and absconded to Canyonlands.