Month: May 2017

Pic: End of May, pink and red sprinkles… what season is this exactly? King Soopers, Denver, CO

Pic: Better than a Diesel Treat. Lucky Pie Pizza and Taphouse, Denver, CO

Well I’ve tried ’em all and I might sound queer
But my favorite drug is a nice cold beer

–Asylum Street Spankers – Beer

Pic: Nice day for a ball game. Coors Field, Denver, CO

The Rockies got spanked but Nat and Sarah are transplanted Giants fans anyway.

Pic: #JustDenverThings. Denver, CO

If you, like many visitors, are hoping to commemorate your trip to the Centennial State with a hand-carved wooden flute, I know just the place.

Pic: What is a 3-word phrase that has never been uttered in my kitchen? Where the Buffalo Roam, 16th St, Denver, CO

Pic: KING LIFE. The 1up, Denver, CO

One of the fun things about widespread nostalgia for my childhood is that there are now arcades which are also bars that serve food. It had been a while since I’d played NBA Jam.

Pic: Suddenly, everything has changed. Flaming Lips with the Colorado Symphony, Red Rocks Amphitheater, CO

When I left California twenty-two days ago, today was one of two dates on my calendar: the Flaming Lips playing their incredible 1999 album The Soft Bulletin at Red Rocks with the Colorado Symphony!

The groundwork was laid back in February:

Matt: Whoah. I would go to Denver to hang out for a weekend and see this show.

Ben: I’ve always wanted to go to Red Rocks for a concert. I’m in.

Tyler: I can be in Colorado by late May. Let’s do it.

Nat: Sure.

Matt: Fuck! I can’t go.

Ben: lol

Nat: lol

Tyler: lol @ u

Further excerpts from the ensuing conversation:

Ben: People are “not” “allowed” to “smoke” “weed” in Red Rocks.

And:

Ben: My new boss (~same as the old boss) “warned” me that if you go to Red Rocks since marijuana legalization, you should expect a contact high.

Ben: Thanks, guy.

Tyler: As opposed to before legalization, when a psychedelic rock concert in the Denver area would have been more like a meeting of the Woman’s Christian Temperance Union.

Red Rocks is a pretty sweet venue. I heard a lot of complaints about all the stairs but DAT VIEW.

The symphony aspect was mostly pretty cool, e.g. for the opening track. However the arrangement of Buggin’, one of my favorite tracks from the studio album, was symphony-only with no percussion. I didn’t like this since the best part is when the drums crash into the sweet harmonies and Wayne croons, “Well they flyyyy in the air…”. Without the snare hits, the transition felt a little flat to me.

The encore section, after TSB ended and the orchestra exited, was short but strong:

• Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots Pt. 1
• Do You Realize??
• Space Oddity (David Bowie cover and classy nod to the first big celebrity death of 2016)
• The W.A.N.D.

We marched back down the long flight of stairs, rescinded our doubts about the seemingly-awkward-but-actually-brilliant way the traffic control dudes had arranged parking, and drove home with the sky accelerating.

Pic: After a long drive, nothing refreshes like a jug of–wait, what? Grand Junction, CO

After a day that included a possibly illegal campsite, two national parks, dinner at Taco Bizzle in Grand Jizzle, and three hundred and fifty miles of I-70 through 10,600′ Vail Pass (still a lot of snow up here!), I was relieved to show up in downtown Denver on Nat and Sarah’s door. I was looking forward to a more relaxed pace of urban sightseeing, bizarre-product-placement spotting, and the Flaming Lips concert at Red Rocks coming up in just three days!

Pic: Oh my god! It’s a Double Arch, all the way! Arches NP, UT

America’s national parks are all undoubtedly great in their own ways. Everyone needs a least favorite park, however, and mine is Arches.

tl;dr: “Did you go to Delicate Arch? No? Then you wasted your time.” –Nat

Let’s start with the positives: the rock formations were unimpeachably stunning. Look at those massive sandstone arches! It’s remarkable what weather and chemistry can accomplish.

Since these features stand alone on an otherwise featureless high desert plateau, the road goes right up to them! Otherworldly vistas, no pesky walking.

The bad news: since these features stand alone on an otherwise featureless high desert plateau, the road goes right up to them! Hence, people everywhere. And that’s fine. I don’t begrudge anyone their right to enjoy our national parks; they belong to all of us, and all of us benefit when people engage with nature. My usual solution to crowds is to simply walk more than a mile from the road, where 99% of visitors will never go. But at Arches, there’s not really anywhere else to go. Distances are long, water and shelter are scarce, and the road goes to most of the cool destinations anyway.

My negative impression was certainly amplified by factors that were entirely my own fault — primarily, being “in a hurry” and trying to cram my visit into a day that also featured five hours of interstate driving and a whirlwind tour of an entirely separate park. That didn’t help, but even under better circumstances I think Arches would remain at the bottom of my list.

In conclusion: fuck Arches.

Pic: No one in between. White Rim from Grand View Point, Canyonlands NP, UT

While the views from the “Islands in the Sky” were incredible, it looked like the best way to enjoy Canyonlands would be via multi-day 4×4 excursion on the White Rim Road, up close and personal with the striking features on the canyon floor. Next time!

Pic: Mesa Arch and Buck Canyon, Canyonlands NP, UT

I showed up at Canyonlands so early that the visitor center was closed. I hadn’t done any research on this park — I wasn’t even supposed to be here today! — but having driven so close to the entrance in search of a campsite, I felt compelled to take at least a quick look around. I hastily cobbled together an itinerary of short scenic viewpoint hikes totaling about six miles: Mesa Arch, Upheaval Dome, and Grand View Point.

I arrived at the first trailhead parking lot, poured a bowl of Corn Pops, and carried it up the hill to Mesa Arch where the Utah Chuckle struck again.